February. The month when all conversations turn to our favorite topic. Love. If we’ve learned anything over lo, these many Valentine’s Days, it is that we all have our own definitions, our own experiences that define that elusive little word. For this year’s discussion, I used a readily available resource, social media, to allow some of my favorite people to put their two cents worth in.
It’s the age-old question. How do you know when it’s for real? Not just a casual relationship, not a passing whim, but real, authentic, selfless love. My friends had some interesting comments, and together, I think they give us a very good perspective.
First of all, it seems that saying or doing something romantic still gets a lot of points with the females among us. One friend said that at a recent event with lots of ladies in attendance, her date told her she was the prettiest one there. “Of course,” she said, “I wasn’t. But it was nice that he felt that way.” Another friend said that her husband made a “play-list” of love songs from lots of different artists and eras. Her reaction, “I love every one of them.”
Sometimes, it’s the way a relationship withstands unexpected stress that tells the story. My daughter mentioned that very soon after she and her new boyfriend started dating, he showed that he was in it for the long haul. This happened when a family dinner at our house turned into a full-blown emergency, complete with a visit from the local fire department, and her daddy making an ambulance trip. With both parents injured, the three siblings and two dates quickly bonded, and supported each other that day. Looking back, we all recognize that as a turning point, and both of those “outsiders” were quickly added to our fold.
Another happily married wife told me that she once lost a very large deposit from his business before it made its way to the bank. His reaction? “That was yesterday. Let’s figure out what to do about tomorrow.” True and lasting love.
I heard a story of a first meeting when both parties were working as emergency responders. It took nine years for their first date, but he told her he had known she was the one for him from the first glance that night.
In less dramatic fashion, love can prompt us to leave our comfort zones and do things we would have never expected. My own hubby has proven this on many occasions. One example was the day when our family was visiting the historic stockyards in Fort Worth, and we visited a famous “honky-tonk”. It was certainly not their busiest time of day but the music was playing, and the disco ball provided ambiance. Even though my life partner does not count dancing as one of his favorite activities, the picture tells the story. All of the pieces fit together to form a wonderful moment, and a lasting memory.
Even shopping trips can provide a chance for sacrificial love. Another friend says that her husband puts up with her wandering around antique stores, even though he has no interest in what she is looking at. The way she sums it up, “Because I enjoy it, he goes with me.”
A favorite couple of ours has been married for over fifty years now. The wife says that before they married, he never had a pet. “I fixed that,” she says. “We have had everything from dogs to cats to horses to rabbits to chickens and he has put up with it all. . . . . Love can make a person put up with a lot.”
Another loyal reader remembers visiting a local donut shop at 5:30 a.m. where she witnessed the owners slow dancing in the back of the store. She says this is one of her “favorite memories of the love they were not afraid to show.”
One twenty-year married man uses roses to remind his sweetie of his feelings. She says she has saved the petals by the boxful.
A lovely wedding story was shared by the bride who remembers her groom singing to her on a snowy Valentine’s Day, when he could barely talk. Those memories last forever!
Though at Valentine’s day, we are usually talking about love between romantic partners, love can be demonstrated for other reasons as well. A favorite video of mine shows a tiny girl on stage in full ballet regalia who becomes very distressed about performing as the number begins. The teacher holds her hand, trying to encourage her, while the other ballerinas continue as they have rehearsed. This little girl is still having none of it, though, until a man holding a baby emerges from stage left. The teacher gives way to Dad, who while balancing the baby in one arm, takes the ballerina’s hand, and performs all of the steps perfectly. It is obvious that they have practiced together, and the little girl is finally comfortable enough to continue. If you have a minute, look up “Marc Daniels joins in on his daughter’s dance” on UTube. I promise, it will make your day.
Love means putting your own comfort aside for the good of someone else. For new moms doing the messy jobs of caring for little ones, or children performing many of the same tasks for their elderly parents, love is love. It’s all worth every minute.
So, here’s to you, and all of those things you do for the sake of Love. Enjoy every minute, and share your stories by commenting here.
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